I finished up with school on Tuesday.  Well, the kids finished Friday and thanks to the terrible winter we had, the teachers still had a professional day on Monday, and then a make up professional day on Tuesday.  It was a very long and difficult home stretch this year.  Let me back up and explain.

Shortly after the school year started I heard about this tax referendum on the ballot this year.  Our district is facing a $3mil loss next year and nearly $6mil within the next two years.  Our district receives the last amount of money from tax dollars in our state.  {And on a related but much too giant to really get into note, our state recently changed the way school districts are being funded.  Those being hit the hardest are those with the highest poverty rate} We rallied to have our funding changed.  Unfortunately, it failed.  We didn’t hear anything for a while.  And then we did.

In late March we got an email that said we would have a meeting after school the next day with the assistant superintendent.  It was instantaneous.  We knew.  We were closing.  Our building is old and has lots of issues.  I’ll save you the details on how this difficult process was made even more difficult by not receiving news, by stretching things out, and misinformation from our union and rumor mills galore.  A middle school in our district also closed, they’re now outsourcing our maintenance department, and have lowered the assistants’ hours.  Our district will feel entirely different next year.

All throughout this stress, the stress of wondering if I still have a job, where it will be, and dear God, please don’t make me teach sixth grade, I still needed to teach.  I needed to teach kids who needed more energy than I had.  Kids who still needed me to get them through 3 rounds of dreadful state testing.  Testing that decided if they moved onto the next grade or were retained.  Testing that they’d, and I’d, stressed about for months.

I went every day.  I tried to smile every day.  But I didn’t have much in me.  I was heart broken.  I was stressed.  I was crying.  And I had so much resentment for being in that situation.  My creativity left me.  The units I had planned at the beginning of the year were absolutely amazing compared to the follow the textbook, sit and do read to self, that was happening at the end of the year.  I was getting by.  Barely.

When I came home I felt this pressure- pressure I had only put on myself no doubt- but pressure to blog.  To share the awesomeness that was happening in my room.  But it wasn’t happening in my room.  I didn’t have the energy to post.  Most posts take a couple hours to put together- pictures, picture editing, linking, typing, etc. take a while.  I felt like there was nothing for me to blog about because my room was boring and there was nothing quality to share.  And I wondered if people even read blogs anymore.  I still wonder about that.  Do you read blogs?  Like, do you subscribe and read them or just when you find a post you’re interested in?

I started doing more and more with social media.  I love that I can go on Instagram and share a quick picture of something we’re doing.  Or I can go on Facebook and type three sentences to share this new website I found, or this new deal I found online.  I was pinning more and more on Pinterest.  And more and more I felt more like a Social Media-er (yeah, it’s not a word) and less like a Blogger.  You know, you have to actually blog to be a Blogger.  And I sort of became okay with that.  I had the energy for that.  I felt like I wasn’t losing this aspect of my life.  This aspect that I loved.

I do want to say that I’m not leaving this blog any time soon.  I do enjoy sharing ideas, and I’m often way too long winded for social media.  But I originally had thought of things like my Facebook Fan Page as a way to promote this blog.  I now instead think of it as a way to connect with other teachers and share my ideas- just like my blog.  I’m on my social media accounts much, much, much more often than I am this blog.

I’d love to hear what you think.  Are you still following and reading blogs?  Basically just using Facebook and Pinterest instead?